Loneliness:-

Today, I want to share about my mistake. The same mistake that I kept doing over and over again. Letting go of someone who truly understands me because....I still dont know what I want. Now, I'm left all alone. I have some problems with a few of my friends. I don't know what's wrong because suddenly they treated me differently. When we met, we usually talked and laughed or atleast they would noticed me but suddenly a few days ago I noticed, they seems to ignore me. If I have done something offensive atleast they could tell me but do not treat me like this.  Everything seems to fall apart and as each day passed, I seems to care less about anything anymore. When I care less about something, I thought I would be happier, but NO! I feel empty and dying inside.

I don't want to share my problems with anyone cause there is nobody that worth sharing except that 1 person whom I have left. I could not lie, that some parts of me still think about her even most of me just want to let her go. Who am I kidding, I am such a jerk. Right now, I have lost a few friends due to my straight-forward honesty. I told them about how they should treat others properly. Don't take people for granted and find them just when you need something. Maybe they couldn't accept the fact of having a friend like myself that told them about their mistakes. I did that so they would not make the same mistakes that I made, instead all they saw was I am not a good friend. I heard a quote, "Do not chase people who you want to spend time with, if they want to spend their time with you, you wont be chasing".

People always mistaken our intentions. Sometimes when we are doing the right thing, people often look it as a fault. We can not pleased these kind of people so what we should do? Just pray for their happiness :)
Talk is easy but do we have courage to act? DO we have the courage to just ignore the people that once close to us and DO we have the courage to just let them walk away knowingly they are at fault? The truth is, I do not. I keep hoping that everything will be ok again or they will change. One thing I want to remind us all, What goes around, Comes around. The pain, the suffering that I caused to Raen, are now returning back to me. I accept my weaknesses which I could not be grateful most of the time, that is why you are better off without me.

You may see me smiling, may see me happy with the people I call "friends" but truthfully, I am not. My happiness has perished since the day I realized to let you go. My trust to people has decreased but my hope never dies. I keep on hoping every single day for things to turn out just fine. Hoping to have friends with Benefits and not for Benefits and hoping to make you happy again like the 1st time when you were with me.
The term "friends" does not refer to my high school friends or my childhood friends ya. They all ROCK!

Deep down, I am glad that people could use me. I could make others happy even they using me for their own interests. Maybe it is my duty to give happiness to others while losing mine. Hopefully, you can see how I feel inside and not how I act. I am sorry for my post being dull and unhappy, but hey, this is me. My emotions can easily changed and that is why some people call me over sensitive. DO remember sensitive is hard to find these days. From sensitive, we will know how to treat others respectfully and thoughtfully, from sensitive we will know how to appreciate other people, but this sensitivity is what people call weaknesses and that is why they avoided people who are sensitive. They all wanted a friend that can have fun all the time, but without sensitivity how would you find someone that will be there when you are in grief and sad? How awfully stupid.